I'm NOT as Smart as I Thought.....

Or....Why Can't I Figure This Out????? 

OK Kampers.....

today I'm going to share my adventures with my new serger....

 and some more turkey stories....

 and working on my niece Miriam's living room bookcase.....

First, let's catch up on the four renegade turkey toms.

THESE @#$ REFUSE TO BACK DOWN!!!!!

My neighbor suggested that I spray them with a hose,

but I'm too much of a scaredy cat to get over to the hose bib to turn on the water, 

they might pin me against the house and attack!!!!!

Hmmmmmm......

what to do.... what to do?????

I went to Amazon.com and bought myself a Super Soaker!!!!!

I'm thinking of sewing a holster,so I can strap it to my back.....

 so when I walk around the pond where I live, I will be prepared!

It will beat having to carry my umbrella for protection!!!!

And I'll look way cool!!!!!

I'll look like a babe from one of those Apocalypse movies!!!!

Like Blade Runner.....

or

Mad Max.....

or

Road Warrior.....

Just call be Badass Betsy!!!!!

I should get the gun sometime this week, and will keep you informed as to how it works.

As the British would say.....

I am chuffed!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, 

let me tell you about my new serger!!!!!

In case you can't tell.....

I bought a serger!!!!!

The sewing store I bought if from (Marie's Sewing Center) gives lessons on how to thread them.

I figured that I didn't need no stinkin' lesson.....

I could just read the manual.

I am smahrt.

I am mechanically inclined.

I am wonder woman!!!

Soooooo.....

on Tuesday I sat down at my sewing table and set up my new machine.

I opened up the manual and started to read.

I familiarized myself with all the parts.

I looked at all the parts.

I touched all the parts.

THEN.....

I got to the section on how to thread the object from hell serger.

what?????

HUNH?????

They have got to be kidding.

The instructions are telling me to use a threader to thread it.

Only the threader is not included.

It's an extra accessory.

Also.....

I forgot to buy the big spools of thread that I need.

I need four spools for the serger.

I don't have any.

So,

I call the store to see when the next class is.

I would like one right away please.

like now.

because I want to use my serger.

like now.

WELL.....

the last one was given last night.

What?????

The next one may be in a month.

No, no, no, no, no.

WELL.....

 the lovely women on the phone could tell that I was not a happy camper.

I would like to say, in my defense, that I had a headache and wasn't in the best of moods.

Sooooo.....

she told me that I could come on out that day, and she would show me how to thread the serger.

Yippee!!!!!

So, because I was such a pain in the ass so pathetic.

I got a private lesson.

It took around an hour.

By the time I got to the store for my super private wonderful lesson, I was feeling much better, having  taken a pill for my aching noggin.

So.....

I went from an absolutely sour mood earlier in the day to absolute euphoria by the afternoon!!!!

She informed me that the serger I have is one of the easiest to thread.

OY, OY, OY, OY, OY.

If this is an easy one, what must the hard ones be like?????

It turned out that I didn't need the needle threader after all.

The tweezers that come with the machine do the trick.

It's really cool how the tweezers can be used to hold the tread to thread the needle.

I felt like a surgeon.

As soon as I got home, I ran up to my sewing room to thread the serger before I forgot how to do it.

I called the store to tell them that they were champs in  my book!!!!

Then.

I continued to read the instruction manual, and was informed that to keep the machine running smoothly, I would need to apply a drop of light machine oil on a regular basis.

WELL!!!!

I didn't buy any.

The store is 1/2 hour away.

OY. OY. OY. OY.

So, yesterday I went back and bought the oil.

Now I am all set.

I must say, the machine works like a charm, and I don't know how I've lived without one all these many, many, many, many, (etc.etc. etc.) years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now....

back to Miriam's living room.....

I've started working on the accessories in her room.

She's got the large bookcase that we had installed along the interior wall.

Kris and I have a collection of blue Bristol Glass that hadn't sold.

We decided to give it to the kids for their living room.

Sooooo.....

I carried it out to their house and unpacked it, lining it up on the mantel.

I was ready to start arranging it on the bookshelves.

That's when I noticed that Miriam has a #$% load of unattractive stuff on the bookshelves.....

So....

I says to her, says I....

"Miriam, my darling niece, what's all this #$% on the shelves?????"

Where upon she answers.....

"Why, my dearest aunt, that be my stuff!!!!!"

"But Miriam, it's ugly!!!!!"

"But, Aunt B, I needs it!!!!!"

Sooooo.....

I went to Pottery Barn's website and bought her a bunch of lined baskets that can hold her stuff and nicely fit on the shelves.

This way it keeps her things in easy reach and out of the offended eyes of her youngest aunt.

She wanted baskets with liners, so I got those too.

The liners, that is.

Without any words.

If we want some stinkin' words on the liners, we can stencil our own!!!!!

Well, 

that's it for today fellow Kampers.

It's time for my lunch, and you know what happens when I get hungry,

it's not a pretty sight.

On that note,

Latah, Gatah